Weird History Of The Earth & Solar System

Pre-Hadeon Eons (4.6+ billion years ago)

• The flutist god-priests of Azathoth, the Daemon Sultan, Gaping Maw, Nuclear Chaos At The Center Of The Spiral Arms begin the eons long construction process of building the Throne of Azathoth, a grand singularity palace-enclosure.
• The Eldest-Upon-Eldest-Ones emerge onto the cosmic stage from their nebula nursery home.

Hadeon Eon (4.6 billion years ago)

• The solar system is formed from primordial starstuff. 
• An Eldest-Upon-Eldest-Ones nomad treasure fleet strips the fifth inner planet bare as they replenish their stocks. The destabilized planetary remnants collide with earth forming the moon when the leave. 
• An injured factory-shipling is abandoned, upon their departure, eventually coming to form the core of the Jovian moon Thebe.
• Nuclearlithic lifeforms develop in Earth's mantle.
• Nuclearlithics build spacecraft and settle several of the still molten planets and planetoids. Certain clades adapt themselves to quicker and smaller (by their geological standards) forms. Develop substantial orbital industry.
• The body of Gatekeeper (Yog-Sothoth) passes through the solar system for the first time.
• Yithians mind swap with several courtiers in the nuclearlithic courts. Record their history.
•  Nuclearlithics are cut off from one another as planetary crusts cool, on tectonically inactive worlds their civilizations stagnate and collapse. Spaceborn nuclearlithics slowly die off or leave for other star systems. Asteroid belt is left littered with the corpses of nuclearlithic ships and construction projects.
• Late Heavy Bombardment caused by de-orbiting of nuclearlithic corpses and structures.

Archaean Eon (4 billion years ago)

• Early microbial life develops on the now cool and liquid water supporting earth.
• The first shoggoths awaken in the primordial microbial soup.
• Primitive life develops on Mars, is coaxed rapidly towards intelligence by the machinations of trans-dimensional sorcerers.
• Martian civilization arises on the warm and wet planet.
• Mars begins to lose its atmosphere, becoming colder and dryer. Civilization declines. The great polar machine brains are built in order to create a solution to the crises. 
• Mars devolves into war over limited resources. First tripods are fielded. Water-rationing autocracies led by warlords hermetically sealed in their tripods soon develop.
• Martians retreat entirely into polar bunkers under the watchful eyes of the machine brains.
• Protoplasmic shoggoth ur-mind expands across the globe.
• Machine brains deem Earth prospective but unsuited for habitation currently and enter into a hibernation state awaiting a future earth ripe for colonization.
• Shoggoth ur-mind discovers the secret of photosynthesis, breakaway accelerationist cyanobacteria architect sects construct stromatolite fortress plains and do battle with the ur-mind.
• Resulting Great Oxidation War kills off much life and fragments the ur-mind, remaining shoggoths retreat to the still anorexic depths of the oceans. Cyanobacteria sects inherit earth. 

Proterozoic Eon (2.5 billion years ago)

• Eukaryotic life begins to develop.
• The godling H Y P E R I O N arrives in the solar system hunting a fleeing god-priest of Azathoth, settles into orbit around Saturn to slumber while its heralds search every last inch of the system.
• Huronian glaciation creates a snowball earth.
• Martian machine brains forced into complete dormancy to hide from the godling's searching mind.
• Factory-ship at the core of Thebe is discovered but ignored by herald-spawn.
• After many many millennia in hiding the flutist god-priest kills? H Y P E R I O N in its sleep and the godling's corpse? becomes the methane moon Titan. God-priest flees solar system.
• Distraught and masterless herald-spawn disperse, many hiding themselves away in the Oort Cloud.
• A small number of herald-spawn come to the icy Earth. They manipulate biomass into more complex forms, shoggoths dredged out of their deep ocean homes and enslaved for the first time.
• Monument on the moon is built by shoggoth slaves.
• Herald-spawn depart en-mass with the extrasolar flyby of another minor godling, shoggoth slaves are taken along. Some spawn stay behind on the periphery of the solar system.

Paleozoic Era (542 million years ago)

• The first complex multicellular life emerges.
• Crinoid hive minds develop in the psychic landscape leftover from H Y P E R I O N 's dreaming. 
• Crinoids slowly evolve the ability to manipulate other minds. Soon develop complex society, with enslaved nautiloid builder castes, eurypterid warrior drones, and other still carrying out their whims.
• First vascular land dwelling plants.
• The Great Race of Yith hijack the minds of a crinoid sub-species. Begin to build the basalt pillared library-city of Pnakotus on 'unoccupied' herald-spawn ruins. Heavy trapdoors are installed
• Yithians collect knowledge from across time and space.
• Crinoid hive minds angered by the theft of their brethren's bodies wage a multi-millennia long war on the Yithians. Remaining earthbound herald-spawn join in.
• Pnakotus eventually destroyed and its library scattered. Yithian elites escape to far future and hijack the minds of a post-human clade to rebuild their library anew.
• Crinoids enter a golden age of philosophy and thought poetry.
• For a brief time a society of sentient Prototaxites fungus pillar-trees thrives in partnership with the Crinoid hive minds. But are soon outcompeted by other land dwelling plants. They escape to a sidereal dimension as beings of pure thought. 
• Land dwelling tetrapods develop.
• Crinoids hive minds languish in the ocean, unable to explore inland. Begin to construct massive reef palaces.
• The Eldest-Upon-Eldest-Ones factory ship at the heart of Thebe, is discovered by Elder Thing scavengers who had come to harvest god brain-matter from the depths of Titan. 
• Elder Things colonize Europa's oceans, introduce worker-shoggoths (descendants of herald-spawn enslaved shoggoths that we're taken from earth so long ago).
• A city is built on Earth, in the place that will become Antarctica many megaannuam from now. Elder Things curiosly observe the declining Crinoid civilizations from afar. Some artifacts from Pnakotus are collected.
• Slaveborn shoggoths brought to Earth come into contact with the original freeborn shoggoths. A massive revolt breaks out, nearly collapsing the Elder Things civilization. The factory-ship at the heart of Thebe is lost.
• Meanwhile, amphibians dwelling in the coal swamps of Earth begin to worship Tsathogga the corpulent frog god.
• Stagnated Crinoid civilization, using techniques learned from the records of Pnakotus, hijack the minds of their starfish cousins in order to lead a simpler, more ambulatory existence. Ancient reef palaces abandoned to the wild. 
• Elder Things pan-stellar empire eventually does collapse under widespread shoggoth revolt, Europa sea-cities under siege. Antarctic city is cut off.
• The amphibians lose their position of dominance with the rise of amniotes.
• An attempt by earthbound nuclearlithics to reconnect with their spaceborn cousins fails. Rather bombastically. Creating the volcanic Siberian Traps and triggering the beginning of the Permian-Triassic Extinction Event.

Mesozoic Era (252 million years ago)

• Earth gradually recovers.
• The Long-Toothed God is born from the collective murmuring dreams of crocodilian archosaurs who have come to rule the land.
• The Elder Things antarctic city falls, bastions on Europa still stand firm.
• A singular soldier-instance of Ada Rigel, is stranded in orbit around Jupiter after passing through the body of Gatekeeper far in the future. Lands upon Ganymede and births further instances of herself beginning a time-displaced empire.
• Instances of Ada Rigel make contact with slow thinking nuclearlithics on Io, trade philosophy, and astronomical data for heavy metals, isotopes, and engineering expertise.
• Ada Rigel discovers the heavily damaged factory-ship at Thebe's core. Overhauls it and soon it becomes the center of their quick expanding empire.
• Elder Things on Europa request assistance in breaking the shoggoth siege of their few remaining cities. Ada Rigel debates before agreeing in exchange for Elder Things bioengineering expertise. 
• Ada Rigel expands to Saturn, then Neptune. Scouts sent to observe but not interfere with Earth. 
• This new and fast growing mind attracts the attention of the herald-spawn in the Oort Cloud. They descend on Ada Rigel intent on ensuring the gestalt being. A vicious war is fought.
• Herald-spawn decimated, retreat to their icy haunts. 
• Triassic extinction.
• Psychic reverberations attract a swarm of Polycrystalline Polyps to the solar system. Half of Oort Cloud dwelling herald-spawn are incorporated into the polycrystalline nodes. Polyps land on Mars, Venus, and other planetoids. Ada Rigel beats back polyps from Earth and Jupiter.
• Ancient nuclearlithic ships are salvaged from the asteroid belt and refurbished by Ada Rigel. Europan Elder Thing biogenetic knowledge used to create a polyp derived star drive. Remaining instances of Ada Rigel depart for interstellar space with small contingents of Elder Things and at least one Ionian nuclearlithic.
• Several instances of Ada Rigel are left behind on Luna and Ganymede in deep storage cry-bunkers.
• Martian machine brains rewaken to drive off polycrystalline polyp incursion.
• The Chicxulub Impactor wipes out dinosaurs.

Cenozoic Era (66 million years ago)

• Mammals rise to dominance.
• Weakened martian machine brains overthrown in a rebellion by hermetic cephalopod overseer class. 
• Continents attain their present day arrangement.
• A lone Polycrystalline Polyp breaks up in Earth's atmosphere, scattering pieces of itself across the world.
• First hominids begin to evolve.
• Psychic parasitoids detecting the emergence of higher stage sentience flock to earth, some species gradually achieve symbiosis and becoming humanities soul. 
• Qiggish slavers following the migration of psychic parasitoids land on Earth and collect early hominids for use as cloned slave labour gene-stock.
• Humans spread across the earth.
• A Polycrystalline Polyp node deep in the caucuses begins to build an empire of brain-slaved humans during the early neolithic. Efforts of a sorcerer king and several tribes defeat it.
• Rebellious cephalopod overseers force machine brains to plot an invasion of Earth, but damage from their incredibly long dormancy and the rebellion hinders efficacy.
• Society to assist mind-jacking Yithian scholars originated.
• Martian invasion is launched and promptly fails since highly complex contagions and microbes were not accounted for, easily dispatching many of the cellularly simple and immunally weakened invaders. Red weed becomes an invasive species. 
• Nuclearlithics disturbed by human nuclear testing. Renewed interest in the study of the surface. Contact likely inevitable. 
• Soviet Cosmonauts accidentally attract the attention of a polycrystalline polyp, build starships whose pilots are psychically tied to the crystalline control interface using its corpse (killed when a Vostok rammed it on re-entry). 
• Present Day.